“Hot Jessica” https://www.facebook.com/HotJess

I hate college towns.
Correction: I hate going to bars in college towns.
See, I’m not an idiot, I know that I’m no Suzy Cheerleader,
I’m no Trophy wife material,
But I know that I’m pretty,
And when I go out I like to dress to the nines,
But I am sick of the chads and ryans,
the sandal wearing motherfuckers,
the frat bros or.. bras…or whatever they call themselves anyway
hitting on me.
See, I like to go out dressed to the nines,
But I want a guy who fantasizes about Seven Of Nine.
That’s right,
I love Nerds.
So instead of going out,
I’m at home, cruising the internet dating sites, the chat rooms, the blogs,
I’m hitting up karaoke, the arcades and Game spot.
I want a man who can kick my ass at halo,
understands soduku,
and doesn’t mind if I dance around in my pajamas to the TRON Theme song.
No, don’t talk dirty to me,
Talk NERDY to me.
I wanna integrate e to the x with him,
cuz goddamn it I’m a jedi in lingerie.
During foreplay we’ll play Magic: The Gathering
And I’ll make him harder than Chinese algebra.
That’s right. He’s gonna Insert his disk into my hard drive,
cuz baby, I got enough memory to save him under file spank bank.
He’s the dungeonmaster of our bedroom.
It isn’t the size of his penis, but the size of his comic book collection that’ll make me wet.
I wanna peer into his four eyes while we hammer out string theory.
I wanna Hear about how his level 75 blood elf mage pwnd the alliance noobz in a raid on Southern Kalimdor.
I want him to be so awesome that his head shines like a goddamn beacon so the unannointed might know where to gain their sustenence. yea, verily yea.
Forget paying a cover to go dancing, we’ve got Dance Dance Revolution hooked up to our hacked Xbox 360 elite.
Afterward, We’re gonna hop on the internet and have hot, dirty cyber sex on a mux.
We’re gonna fall in love while we’re kicking ass during the zombie apocalypse.
I want a man who functions on caffine, does his christmas shopping on thinkgeek.com and runs linux.
Forget house parties, we’re hitting up LAN parties.
He’s gonna know that Batman is way cooler than Spiderman and Superman combined,
and pirates always beat ninjas. ALWAYS.
His facebook profile will list Lord of the Rings, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Trilogy, The Gor Series, and the Dragon Lance series as books that changed his life.
And Movie night?
We’re air popping popcorn and watching Cowboy Bebop, The Movie.
Until I meet him,
I’m calling up the geek squad like it’s a phone sex line,
Cruising the internet cafes,
and waiting.
Waiting for one nerd to rule them all,
Waiting for my nerd in shining 1080i. (Come ON. I have to be interlaced)
And when I finally find him,
all my base are belong to him.